singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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