you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
