took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my shit smells like andre
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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