ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
