Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
