from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
