My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
