Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Who died my cat blue again?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
