what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
