yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
