i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You have to summon your inner elephant
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
