i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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