paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
