loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
