Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
