Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize