Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
