Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
