The maid of honor just puked.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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