I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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