I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
