Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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