and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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