Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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