i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
