so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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