do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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