i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
