I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
