He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
