home. puking in laundry basket.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
