you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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