i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize