He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
