She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
