cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
