He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
