i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
