I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
