she was so not down for the gang bang
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
