I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
