As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
