Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
