just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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