I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh god it's open bar.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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