well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
