I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the day after is always just damage control
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize