Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
