so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
