Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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