I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
