So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
