Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
