just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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