How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
