Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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