Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
