I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
